Who Would I Be Without You?

There have been a million times, since your diagnosis, that I have wondered who you would have been without Autism.

The thought used to consume my mind. I grieved for the life I thought you were going to have.

When I was pregnant with you, I had dreams of what our lives would look like.

In my dreams, you did it all. You played T-Ball, Soccer, and Hockey. Instead we have dozens of therapies to attend to each week.

I dreamed of being the class mom and making homemade treats for your games. Instead I have parent trainings and IEP meetings.

I dreamed of a house always filled with you and all your friends. I dreamed of hearing dozens of laughing boys running up and down my halls. Instead it is quiet and, sometimes, lonely.

I dreamed of block parties.

I dreamed of you falling in love.

I dreamed of…

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Published by Autism Candles

My name is Nathan Young. I'm the founder of the Autism Candles project. I am a self-advocate. The candle project exist to make a statement about inclusion and opportunity. My email is nathan@autismcandles.com. Feel free to contact me. https://www.autismcandles.com

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